Three Miracles
by SKYAN
Summary: Three miracles will occur in everyone's life, was what Nozomi overheard someone said once before. Being superstitious, Nozomi of course believed it, and even laughed about it when she could use the saying to tease others. But when the miracles falls onto herself, Nozomi could only find herself hating it. Hating it for being only three miracles. Hating it for existing at all.


Three miracles will occur in everyone's life, was what Nozomi overheard someone said once before. Being superstitious, Nozomi of course believed it, and even laughed about it when she could use the saying to tease others. But when the miracles falls onto herself, Nozomi could only find herself hating it. Hating it for being only three miracles. Hating it for existing at all.

No matter how many times Nozomi have experienced parting from friends, she never got used to it. Having to move from place to place, Nozomi had tried her best to keep in contact, but everyone eventually left her all alone. Loneliness became her loyal companion and Nozomi felt like in the harsh cruel world, herself was all she had to rely on. Eventually, Nozomi just gave up befriending anyone. But that was only until she met her.

Nozomi always believed that it was the god who brought the miracle in her life. The miracle by the name of Ayase Eli. Cold and isolating, those that tried to befriend her were eventually pushed away. But not Nozomi. Nozomi saw past the icy barrier the girl put around her. What she saw was a mirror, reflecting her own image back to her. Nozomi saw herself in the girl. Unable to communicate with others put them both in the same position. And that was the only chance Nozomi needed to be given before she quickly grabbed it and befriended the girl.

Of course, Eli was not the easiest person to befriend. But Nozomi never stopped trying. And eventually, Nozomi got her miracle and made a friend. Best friend was what they grew into by the time Nozomi's second miracle happened with the formation of μ's. The joining of the school idol group not only brought Nozomi closer to everyone, it also brought her closer to Eli, to the point where they were inseparable.

From going to school to going home, from going shopping to studying, Eli was always by her side. They shared every little secret and laughed about each other's embarrassing moments. They slept over and Eli always invited Nozomi over for dinner. They were together so much Eli's family practically treated Nozomi as one of their own. At first, Nozomi thought that was her third miracle, being part of a warm family, but it turned out she was wrong.

Nozomi's third miracle appeared in the same month μ's performed Snow Halation at the second Love Live competition. However, it wasn't the successful performance at Love Live, nor was it the tears of joy that they all shared when they were announced the winner. The miracle came to her at Christmas, in the form of three words from the one she treasured the most.

A simple _"I love you"_ was more than enough for Nozomi to finally conclude that standing in front of her was her third miracle had arrived. The miracle of loving someone and having that feeling returned. And what better than to have her third miracle brought to her, but the first miracle that made everything possible?

When it finally hit them that they were going to be leaving everyone behind, when the reality of their group's disbandment finally sunk in, Nozomi wished more than she ever did, for a fourth miracle to occur. A kind of miracle that would allow them all to stay together. But knowing that all three of the miracles in her life had already occurred, Nozomi could only do her best to form more memories with the girls with their remaining time before graduation. Learning from her experience, Nozomi knew that making the most of the time they had together was better than wishing for her miracles to last long.

As Nozomi expected, after graduation, everything returned normal. There was no more miracle. Everyone was busy studying while the graduates were busy sorting themselves out and figuring out where they belonged in society. All Nozomi could do was continue her part time job at the shrine or stay home and stare at the photo that sat on her shelf, reminding her of the joyfulness that her second miracle had brought her.

Unlike Nico, Nozomi could not find a place in the entertainment world, and unlike Eli, Nozomi could not find a place in modelling either. She was a nobody in society without the rest of μ's and no one knew that fact better than herself. But Nozomi was content. She had Eli by her side, and she was happy even if she was struggling to make a living. It went without saying that as a couple, there would be arguments here and there. Even when big arguments results in a cold war between the two of them, it would be quickly resolved between themselves as Nozomi constantly remind herself that Eli's appearance in her life was a miracle itself. Yet while Nozomi knew Eli was a miracle, she made an exception for the girl and refused to accept that miracles do not last forever.

When Eli told her that her family wished for her to return to Russia, Nozomi swore she heard her own heart shattered into pieces. Even though Eli had said that her family was more than willing to have Nozomi together with them in Russia, Nozomi refused. She knew the three miracles in her life were used up already so she selfishly concluded that Eli had simply said that to make her feel better.

Nozomi figured the remaining durations of her miracles were slowly ticking away, as previously late night conversations with each other were transforming into arguments over little things that left venomous words ringing in both their ears. Nozomi knew better than to argue with Eli over trivial things but she could not stop herself. She knew Eli was still the same as when she first met her, a prideful person who refused to be looked down upon. However Nozomi continued to trample on that fact.

Perhaps it was only when the two of them have spent their energy yelling at each other, did Nozomi felt like anything that happened between them was real… because even till now, after so many years, the idea of the being in a relationship together with Eli was still unreal. When that feeling slipped her tongue in one of their arguments, Nozomi saw a hurt expression on the girl's face that she never knew was possible on the girl's face, followed by a look of betrayal in her eyes. And that was the last night she ever saw Eli. Nozomi back then in the midst of her anger, had not understand why the girl looked like she was betrayed, but with the passing of time, she understood that the statement had made the girl felt like Nozomi had not trusted her. The clock of her third and final miracle had finally ticked midnight.

It wasn't easy at first for Nozomi to wake up alone in bed and make breakfast for one person only. But Nozomi tried her best, because she knew it was just the way the cruel harsh world was supposed to be. Just like it had been when she was younger. The partings with those she knew back then had been just as difficult as this but even then she managed to deal with the pain and just like now, eventually, Nozomi knew she would move on.

Looking at the face-down photo frame on her shelf, Nozomi closed her eyes and found herself slightly smiling at the warm memories made by her second miracle. Reaching over, she flipped down the other photo frames that consisted of her and Eli and turned away. She had no choice but to move on, even if she didn't want to. After all, just like with μ's, she had already moved on from her second miracle.

Once in a while though, especially during Christmas, Nozomi would find herself hating the idea of people only having three miracles in their life. It was unfair. If she had one more, perhaps her life now would be in Russia, and her Christmas nights would be spent in the arms of the quarter-Russian with words of love whispered into her ears. It didn't seem fair that after all that she had gone through in her childhood, she had to endure them all over again now in adulthood. After a while, Nozomi simply ceased to be thankful overall, for the idea of the three miracles in everyone's life.

Nozomi admit that her childhood was overwhelmed by loneliness. But she had managed. It was all she believed that existed in the interactions with other people. If no miracles happened in her life, her high school life would be lonely, yes, but it would be just the same as before. Nothing she was not accustomed to. The idea of loneliness would be like the concept of breathing, so normal that it would mean nothing. Which meant that now, lying in her bed in her early twenties, Nozomi would not have to bother with still trying to get used to the idea of being alone all over again.

People say three miracles will happen in everyone's life. But for Nozomi, she'd rather none of the miracles ever happened at all.


End file.
